


Hard Boiled Nonsense

by Caraina (xxCarainaxx)



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, Male-Female Friendship, Sass, it needed to be done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 07:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14052426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxCarainaxx/pseuds/Caraina
Summary: The world was a big place. Still, you never thought you would have to deal with your self-proclaimed big brother talking down to you like this. Lord help the man who stood between you and a stiff drink.Franky/reader friendshipIn response to the first prompt of the May 2017 Prompt Off on Lunaescence.





	Hard Boiled Nonsense

**Author's Note:**

> This is smack dab in the middle of the Dressarosa Arc, so of course there are some spoilers, but I promise there is nothing big at all. If you want context for this story, it's literally just [this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUIecSwqRQg), but with Salty!Reader.  
>   
> Reviews will make your Mother-in-law like you better. (Or not. I'm unmarried and I don't claim to be an expert on such things.)  
>   
> I don't own One Piece.   
> _________________________________________________________

**“YOU DESERVE DEATH. DEATH FOR INSULTING ME. INSULTING ME IS A TERRIBLE CRIME HERE AND IF YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH-"**

This woman had been rambling on about the punishment you and Franky would receive for ages. You had gone from battle ready to wondering what Sanji would fix for dinner before she had even stopped to breathe. 

But now she wasn’t saying anything… 

You glanced up from your spot against the wall to find your partner in crime/ brother figure kissing your enemy.

“Oi…” you interjected weakly. He paid you no mind.   
The sudden spike of racy-ness seemed to melt the poor little Tontta’s brains as they collectively made one hell of a fuss over Franky’s new battle methods. 

As Franky broke away from her, in order to attempt to rouse Signor Pink, the Factory Manager’s demeanor went from she-demon to love-struck teen as if a switch had been flipped. 

Shit like this is why you drink.

Despite her change in demeanor, she continued to yell. However, instead of wanting his death, she seemed to want Franky to make an honest woman of her, despite his clear disinterest.

“You can’t blame him, Factory Manager,” came Senor Pink’s smooth voice as he got back to his feet. “You got involved. It’s your fault,” he persisted.

“B-but Senor Pink!” she stammered. He ignored this.  
“You cut into a fight between grown men. When a woman does that, how else can we seal her mouth?” Pink concluded.  
“Getting upset over a kiss or two makes you just an immature little tramp, so don’t talk about love or relationships or that sort of stuff!” cut in Franky, clearly wanting some of the spotlight.

Pink crossed his arms and nodded. “That’s right. Love with a little chick like that…”

“…would drive me nuts!” they finished together. 

“Mother Hera, I’m gagging on all the testosterone in here. Can we get a move on?” you called out to your partner. The women, who had been gushing over how ‘hard boiled’ the two men were, shot cutting looks at you. You followed the boy’s lead and ignored them. Franky turned to acknowledge you. 

“[Nickname], if you don’t get how important a battle between men can be, maybe you have some growing up to do yourself,” he reprimanded, raising a single unaffected eyebrow 

What in the?? Where did he get the nerve to talk down to you like you were some sort of...   
You pushed off the wall, your mouth in a tight line and your eyebrows as high as they would go on your forehead.

“Oh _HELL_ no. If this fight is so important to you, by all means. Have at it. But if you think, for one second, that picking a fight with me is a smart move, I’ll send your eight foot, disrespectful, titanium ass flying. Do NOT test me.” You turned to the women. “And you gals find some self-respect, and some water. Y’all so thirsty. I’m not doing this today.” You stuffed your hands in your pockets and walked deeper into the building. 

Senor Pink, thoroughly unaffected by your rant, turned to Franky with an eyebrow raised. “Is she always like that?”

Franky chuckled to himself. “Of course. She holds her big brother to a high standard. I must have spent too long entertaining this fight for her to be so upset.”

The corner of Pink’s mouth quirked up in a smirk. “Then perhaps we should settle this now, before any more immature tramps can interfere.” 

They squared off for a final showdown, while somewhere else in the factory, you considered the consequences of drinking yourself blind there and then.   
This was going to be a long day.


End file.
